Why change is hard

Here’s what I know about change, and why change can feel so scary … 

Neuroscience has shown us that our brains have a special or specific way to handle change; it processes change in the same way that it handles loss or grief. 

And the five stages of grief are: 

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

It is believed that, when going through grief, we all go through these stages in our own time. 

It’s also important that we do go through them or we risk staying stuck in the experience of grief and we’ll be unable to move forward. 

We all handle these different stages differently, depending on the situation and our experience, it’s never the same for two individuals. 

Now back to change … 

If it’s true that our brains never evolved in a better way to handle change than through the same pathways as for grief. 

It then explains why change can be so scary.

Because we experience it as a loss or death.

The way I see it, change means death to the old and birth to the new.

We know what we have, but we don’t know what we’ll get. 

So, it looks safer to stay with what we have, even if it’s not good, because at least it’s safe and perhaps it’s not as bad as it could be. 


I found that simply being aware of how our minds work around fear and change, helps me to quickly reach the stage of acceptance, which then, helped me move forward. 

So, I want to ask you, where in your life are you feeling stuck right now? 

What are you afraid to let go of?

Why are you afraid of allowing the old to die in order to make room for the new?

Let me know where you are right now in life and what you’re struggling with or where you feel stuck. 

I want to hear from you.

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