Welcome back to the Get Life Right Audio Series, a 5-part course on how to get what you want and how to handle it when you don’t. Today we’re talking about how there are really no musts or shoulds in life.

There are no musts or shoulds.

Do you agree?

I would imagine that you might have some reservations about this radical statement.

In my experience, most of us struggle with seeing this profound idea.

I know I did.

I used to have days filled with shoulds and responsibilities, duty and obligations.

Until I discovered that most of the musts and the shoulds were about avoiding consequences.

Avoiding to be judged, rejected, hated or otherwise punished.

So let me help you see this for yourself, that there are no musts;

Think of a must or a should of yours.

What would happen if you didn’t do it?

I’ll give you an example, “You have to take care of your child.”

Well, no.

What happens if you don’t?

They’d starve and die … Or something equally horrible.

So what I see is that you don’t want your child to starve and die. So you chose to take care of her, right?

It’s a choice – only always.

Now you might be thinking, “But you have to pay your bills!”

No.

What happens if you don’t?

You lose your house and become homeless? 

So what I am hearing here is that you don’t want to live on the street and go hungry, so you’re choosing to pay your bills.

Do you see how this works?

And let me tell you, that recognizing the choice here is empowering, compared to feeling that you must or should do things.

When you accept the choice that you are making you get to step into self-leadership and ownership.

Life is a series of choices. And if you don’t like the choice you’re making, simply make a different one.

You can finally stop shoulding all over yourself and hijack the disempowering story of needing to do things – the story of having no choice. 

You can raise your motivation levels instantly when you see that behind every must and every should there’s always a choice.

In this lesson, your assignment is to make a list of all the things that you feel you must or should do.

If it helps you can try dividing things into 4 key life areas:

• Your health;
• Your work;
• Your freetime, and;
• Your relationships

What are the musts and the shoulds in these areas?

Next, for each of the items you listed, ask yourself: What happens if I don’t do it …?

You might need to repeat the question several times until you get to the real issue driving the must or should.

And write down all your answers to the exploration.

You will now be able to see that behind it all there’s a choice – a choice made by you.

When you see this for yourself you’ll empower yourself by claiming ownership over your situation rather than being a victim of circumstances.

If you don’t like the choices you’re currently making, like “needing” / choosing to go to your job, you can make a different choice. You can quit and find something else.

You are not stuck – not when you have the choice.

Good luck with the assignment, and I’ll be seeing you in the next lesson in this 5-part audio series.